If you're like me, when you hear this phrase, images like this come to mind:
Or perhaps something like this:
Or at least freakin' this:
You see where I'm going, right?
Okay, so now how about this?
Right, because apparently in nail polish world, "Caviar Dreams" translates into frothy gray with metallic green undertones [insert gagging sounds]:
I'm afraid to fall asleep around here for fear I'll wake up wearing a toe tag.
[Note to self: No more Web cosmetics purchases. I can't believe you didn't learn your lesson after the Japanese electric eyelash-curler incident. And the "earthy" perfume incident. And the navy-blue mascara incident. And the iridescent-body-glitter incident. And the I-just-baked-a-cake-on-my-face foundation incident. And the lipstick-that-made-you-look-like-that-dude-from-The-Cure incident. New rule: you are not allowed to buy anything while sitting down.]
And Furthermore...
This steak is made of paper. What's up with that?
Um honey? Have you ever seen Caviar? It's frothy gray w/green undertones. really. call me next time. I can help you out with this=)
ReplyDeleteLOL Shopping in real life is WAY more fun for me!! I try to stay away from internet purchases.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the person who wrote the ad is color blind and to him it really is frothy grey with green undertones? OR maybe it's not really meant to be on your nails...have you tried applying it somewhere else? OR maybe it's not even for your body, maybe it's for paper. Yes, definitely, I bet on paper it's the right color.
ReplyDeleteThat polish could have been cute last weekend for Halloween...ew raw meat in the morning, thanks now i'm nauseous!
ReplyDeleteTwo words - fish eggs.
ReplyDeleteThat clever marketing genius should have thought through that name selection.
Em
Good thing you didn't go for the Escargot Ecstacy.
ReplyDeleteThat steak looks awesome to an Okie beef-eating woman on a fixed income, and are you sure it's made of paper? No one should be allowed to make something like that... My mouth started watering and my salivary glands aren't listening to me when I say it's fake.
ReplyDeleteAs to the makeup... I rarely buy make-up anymore in real life, much less on line. My laugh wrinkles are so deep I'd need crack spackle to start so I just gave up. I'll dress my eyes a bit for special occasions, but that's it.
Thanks for the comic relief this morning.
Helen
The 'caviar' part should have told you something. Next time look for salmon eggs - they are a pretty, peachy/pinky/orangey... well, salmon color. You could glue them to your nails, just be sure not pick your nose after you do that.
ReplyDeleteLOL, I have given up on internet shopping as well. Nothing ever fits right or looks like it does on the stinkin model! Then again I dont have a body like the model either!
ReplyDeleteOk, maybe I can learn a lesson from you. I don't think I will be making any online purchases for any cosmetics anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, is that steak made of paper. Cause it looks totally real. Someone must have TOO MUCH time on their hands.
Wha??? I am confused by the meat. Is that a note pad? That's hilarious.
ReplyDeleteUm...I kinda like the nail polish...then again I've got black nail polish on right now so there ya go.
well personally i like those nails... but the rest of the costume is hidden :)
ReplyDeleteCome over to my blog for your award Smiles...
Yes sturgeon eggs..no thanks. Sweet baby jesus..what are you all buying on the internet? Now paper steak? I love it..are you giving it away..you know since I lost the stache on a stick contes..i could use a paper steak???
ReplyDeleteDon't hate me because my mustache is better than yours, but I tagged you!
ReplyDeleteSix random facts about you and then you get to select six other lucky bloggers.
Heh heh?
Say, say, oh playmate,
Won't you come play with me
And bring your Dolly three
Climb up my apple tree....
That steak looks mighty tasty!
Seriously paper!?!? WHOA, that's too weird for me.
ReplyDeleteAngie
"Nana's Box"
LOL That has got to be the most putrid color of nail polish ever.
ReplyDeleteCrazy online purchases, you may be a good candidate for an intervention. Who's with me?
Then it probably doesn't taste very good...
ReplyDeleteI live in a 'if I can't touch it, it ain't real kinda world'
ReplyDeleteI have no imagination when it comes that kind of stuff.
Bummer for my kids, huh?
That is the perfect vegetarian steak. I hear paper takes on the flavor of whatever sauce it's cooked with.
ReplyDeleteWhere do you find this stuff?? Paper steaks? Is it a prop for model homes or something? To sit out on the back patio where the BBQ should go?
ReplyDeleteA Japanese electric eye curler? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!
ReplyDeleteI hope it didn't take long for them to grow back.
Somehow the Michael Kors trench coat from Bluefly worked out for me though. Luck of the draw I guess :)
What??? Whatever happened to, "If at the first 47 times you don't succeed, try try again."?
ReplyDeleteI wanted to post a really clever comment. But 22 people already have.
ReplyDeleteDrat.
LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnd paper steak? WTF?
Is that steak seriously made out of paper? Because I will eat it, no matter what it's made of.
ReplyDeleteI kinda dig the polish in a Riverside Monster sort of way.
ReplyDeleteThe paper meat is freakin me out, man. I can't wrap my little brain around it.
Oh who doesn't think of the rich and luxurious when thinking of Caviar Dreams! :) One day that will be me! LOL In my dreams maybe!
ReplyDeleteIs it weird that I like the color? Probably not for my fingernails because it's practically impossible to keep it from flaking off but definitely for my toes. Ok yep I guess I'm weird. As for the steak, what's up with that? I find it hard to fathom that's its made of paper. But then again there are people out there who are way more talented than I am!
ReplyDeleteIs that a SLEESTACK???? :)
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteWere there reviews on the product?
I think it looks kind of fab. But then again, frothy gray w/metallic green undertones has always been my favorite color!
I used to work at a place where we sold stuff through catalogs. It was always fun to be in the warehouse when people picked up their supposedly "beige" couch. I guess people can get upset when their $2500 couch doesn't really mesh with their carpet. :]
ReplyDeleteOh. And thanks for the comment!
TeeHee. Yeah, well, that's about the color of caviar. Though I agree there is nothin' dreamy about it.
ReplyDeleteMy question is what the heck were the marketing folks thinking?!
I'm guessing it was something like: "Let's name it after fish eggs .... pass the bong."
Seriously, what were they going for? That big teenage-goth-emo-Robin-Leach-fans demographic?
I'm just amazed that something that should resemble fish eggs said "fashion accessory" to you. :D
ReplyDeleteUmmm I hate to break this to you...but if your cavier is frothy and has green undertones...DON'T EAT IT!!! Sheesh woman do you want to be dead? Oh wait...your nails are already painted for the occasion! Funny stuff...as ususal.
ReplyDeleteEek! I agree that would have been perfect for Halloween last week.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my Saucy blog:)
ROFL! But I gotta tell you, I kind of like the polish, and you've got such pretty hands!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJustine :o )
The nail polish looks like a great color for a stash. My brain is having a slow down after looking at the paper steak too long and trying to make it be real.
ReplyDeleteOooh! I like that nail polish!
ReplyDeleteUmmm...that looks black to me. BAHAHAHAHA But, hey isn't black the new pink? Oh wait- or is pink the new black. Never mind...
ReplyDeleteI haven't read your comments but I kind of like it. I might be weird but I wear the dark blue one from OPI and the green one called Greenwich something or other. You know what though, not the point. Stop buying stuff whilst sitting down..lol.
ReplyDeleteif that meat is made of paper, i want to know what printer THEY use and how much that bad boy costs!
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck is up with the paper steak?
ReplyDeleteYeah, see, for me, the fish guy would have been the first thing that popped into my mind. I had it once didn't like it.
ReplyDeleteI think rich people just eat stuff like that to make us think there's something wrong with us regular folks but they know it doesn't taste good either.
What happened with the eyelast curler?
Paper steak?! I'm confused. That's just wrong.
ReplyDeleteThat polish is OK, but not quite my color. I like a bright blue or a deep purple when I'm feeling fun...or a coral or red when I'm feeling southern.
Internet purchases are DANGEROUS. I agree. I've banned myself from Ebay until Christmas.
Ok, I'm loving that paper steak!
ReplyDeleteOh not loving the polish unless it was on a pimply 16 year old Goth Girl.
ReplyDeleteNot being a fish eater I don't spend much time around caviar, but when I do think about it - it's usually as I buy caviar dip for my husband, and that's pink!
ReplyDeleteSo if they call it anchovy, steer well clear!
Love your blog too - thanks for stopping by mine!