I learned my lesson last year, boy, and I am never letting the holidays sneak up on me again.
It seemed like I had just packed away the last of the Arbor Day acorn launchers and flying-squirrel suits when - BAM! - there was Mr. Turkey knocking on my door. (A deeply disturbing incident, by the way, and by far my least favorite memory of Thanksgiving.)
Nope, this year I am getting the jump on the holiday season. When it's time to review the year's triumphs and tragedies...its challenges and lessons learned...man, I'll be ready. So here goes:
The Good Times
- Sweet parking all four times I went to the grocery store last Tuesday.
- That weird purple spot on my toenail finally grew all the way out. (Not the pinkie toe, the one next to it. What's that toe called, anyway? The ring toe? Pinkie-adjacent? Mr. Stubbs?)
- My favorite t-shirt - the one with Abe Vigoda wearing a Napoleon hat - finally turned up. How it got crammed into the bottom of that golf bag in the garage is anybody's guess.
- My bangs pointed the right way an average of 34% of 2010. (A significant improvement over last year's 26%!)
The Bad Times
- I ordered a book on Amazon.com and, although I paid extra for overnight delivery, the book did NOT, in fact, arrive until two days later. (Thanks to everyone for their support during this trying time.)
- The houseplant death toll continued to climb as we said farewell to Jerry "The Predicament" Ficus III. It seemed we'd just brought him home from Albertson's when his leaves began to turn brown and curl, leading us to scratch our heads and wonder yet again what it is that we're supposed to be giving these plants to keep them alive...?
- On January 17, an unexpected cloudburst resulted in almost 1/16 of an inch of rain, throwing the LA Metropolitan area into chaos and resulting in the Southland domestic threat level being elevated from sea foam green to a warm saffron.
- The Curried Bratwurst Incident - 5:57 p.m. Friday, January 22 through 9:18 p.m. Saturday, January 23.
Cheers! Here's hoping 2010 treated you right!
This Just In!
I am honored and excited to announce that BlogHer has invited me to speak at BlogHer '10 - their annual conference - this summer in New York City!
I'll be part of the Humor-Writing panel on the conference's Writing Lab Track and will be talking about the craft of writing things that (please, God) make people laugh.
I'm happy to say that the very funny Jessica Bern of BernThis.com will be joining me on the panel. I don't yet know who the other two panelists will be, but when I do, I'll plug them. (That didn't come out right at all.)
I had a blast in Chicago last year as a BlogHer Room of Your Own speaker and I'm thrilled to be going to the 2010 conference. If you're wondering whether to make the trek to meet fellow bloggers in real life, I can tell you it's worth it. It was amazing last year to spend time with so many people I admire whose writing makes me laugh (and cry) again and again.
Want to know more? Click here...
Hope to see you there and thank you, BlogHer!