Monday, October 4, 2010

SERIOUSbandzz

Not So Silly After All

Of course you know what Sillybandz are.

All right, in case you don't know them by name, they are those multi-colored, shaped silicone bands piled on the wrists of our nation's youth that you've probably noticed while bolting out the door of the 7-Eleven clutching a fresh copy of News of the World and four packs of Twizzlers. (That's right - I live in your neighborhood.)

Sillybandz (that's the "official" brand but there are other makers, too) are everywhere. They are sold in theme packs, such as:

Princess Pack!

Dora the Explorer Pack!

Hello Kitty Pack!

And even...Justin Bieber Pack!

Cute, right? But, wait...

I Reminisce

The Sillybandz craze reminds me of the "hot" thing to trade at school when I was but a pup growing up in the steamy 'burbs of Houston: Wacky Stickers. Do you remember those? They were tasteless stickers that parodied the popular products of the day, such as:

Cool, huh? I know.

But, anyway...

I Get Back On Track

Here's the thing: where are the S
illybandz that match my particular interests? Sure, Hello Kitty is cute and all, but I need stretchy silicone accessories that underscore and amplify the hip urban funky chic iconoclastic old vibe that is my signature style. I mean, people have certain expectations when I roll into the pharmacy carpool dog groomer ob/gyn oh, never mind!

Where are the SillyBandz for grown-ups?!?

Some Ideas

I've been thinking about this. (It was either think about this or do the dishes, and I'm pretty sure we all know which way that decision was going to cut.)

I think there's a huge marketing opportunity to be exploited here. Now, I don't have time to pursue this particular commercial niche what with
my burgeoning Cat-Bump-Its business, but if any aspiring entrepreneurs out there would like to splash around in the puddles left over from my recent brainstorming session, well, go for it!


Middle-Aged Pack!
Includes reading glasses, insoles, calcium supplement, knee brace, elastic-waist pants, Metamucil and those giant sunglasses that fit over your regular glasses.

Menopause Pack!
(They change color along with your skin's temperature!)
Includes lightning bolt, tube of progesterone cream, prescription pad, sweat towel, moisturizer, bioidentical hormone pill and dagger.

Haggard Parent Pack!
Includes car seat, frying pan, lawn mower, briefcase, cell phone, sleeping bag, bicycle, microscope, ballet shoes, scout uniform, loose tooth and piggy bank.

Mid-Life Crisis Pack!
(In hot, day-glo colors!)

Includes convertible, barbell, tanning bed, Botox needle, buxom twenty-something, shirtless pool boy, sailboat, margarita and cloud of free-floating anxiety about one's mortality.

Career Pack!
Includes unreasonable boss, miniature paycheck, office lech, four coffee cups, know-it-all intern, empty doughnut box, irate customer and midnight oil.

Order Yours Today!

And...Coming Soon: SERIOUSbandzz Combo Packs!

Marriage/Divorce Pack!
Regret/Ennui Pack!
Independent/Assisted Living Pack!

Collect 'Em All!

29 comments:

Lisa said...

Can I get my menopause pack with extra daggers?

Beth Kephart said...

I need and want them all.

B. Freret said...

Made of win, again. I do adore you, mainly because of the large geographic distance between us.

I'm concerned that buxom twenty-something would take off with shirtless pool boy, so a lot of those packs would wind up missing tow bandz, but I'm all over the career pack.

Bravo!

hokgardner said...

I would willingly trade the dozens of sillybandz that are scattered through my house for some seriousbandz, maybe in housecleaning shapes - rubber gloves, vacuum cleaner, feather duster, spray bottle.

FreshHell said...

I would buy these. Please let me know when they are available. Esp the ennui/regret ones.

Anne said...

This.is.genius. Where can I order?

Laraine Eddington said...

Can I wear them on my ankle because my ankle is a more seious location than my flailing wrist.

Jun Kitatani said...

OMG, ROFL

Heather said...

Oh Anna, you are perpetually full of The Awesome. (Which, btw, is the same color and texture as Cheez Doodles.)

Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

I'm torn between the princess pack and the the career pack.

I'm always on the quest for the Perfect Tiara, but...damn...that miniature paycheck is calling to me.

DLK said...

Too funny! Is it weird that I want the Middle-Aged pack and the Justin Bieber one???

Brutalism said...

I'm in. May I also suggest the "We all know at least one of these Moms" pack that includes the shapes of organic, locally-grown food, flash cards with Mandarin Chinese phrased and a schedule with many enriching, extra-curricular activities?

Anna Lefler said...

Amen to that one, sister.

;-) A.

Swirl Girl said...

BRILLIANT!

Let's just be sure we don't confuse our Menopause pack with the scented TweenSass pack!

Could you imagine?

Irish Gumbo said...

I'm wondering if that Mid-life Crisis (for Boys) pack might have a little more silicone than the other ones...

The Empress said...

Sadly, I'd be able to trace and collect them all.

Wouldn't be interested in the Raffia bandz exchanging group, though. You know, the ones who won't touch plastic with a 10 foot WOODEN pole.

Very cute idea...

Ann Imig said...

I'm stuck on cat-bumpitz and I hope that image never ever leaves.

I think it's really wrong that Bieber's testes have inspired a silly band(z)

Anna Lefler said...

Dude, I can't believe you said "Bieber's testes" on my blog.

A.

Ms Batman said...

I bring home regular rubberbands from work and tell my girls they are the 'infinity' version of Sillybandz. Much cheaper that way. AND they're unique

Pearl said...

Ack! Now why didn't I think of this?!

And yes -- what Lisa said. Where do I get the menopause pack?!

Pearl

Paige said...

what about "sexual positions pack"? Out of ideas...just look at your silly bands!

WA said...

I'm so trading these with the gals at my next Silver Sneakers stretch class!

sherri said...

I remember those stickers well from childhood. Rememeber garbage pail kids - ewwww - after my time, but ewww. I want a pack for bloggers - perhaps a computer, a glass of wine, carpal tunnel brace and earplugs (for drowning out family members desparately wanting you to pay attention to them). have a great weekend!

Fragrant Liar said...

I'd like to order a double of the single midlifer pack, please. And I'd like that order rushed straight to my door. Price is no object.

jubilee said...

Oh, my. Love it, love it!

La Belette Rouge said...

Wacky Stickers, ah yes, I remember them well!!
p.s. I am in need of the Midlife crisis kit. I feel sure that my fear of aging would be immediately resolved by a colourful Sillyband.

Janey B said...

OMG you are a funny b*tch. I'll take the menopause pack. Uh...make that two, one for me, one for my husband.

Justus Steel said...

what about the mens pack that includes boobs, football, boobs, boobs....wow, we really are simple creatures

Andy said...

I'm always on the quest for the Perfect Tiara, but...damn...that miniature paycheck is calling to me.

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