Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Notorious K.I.D.

Well, summer ended almost two weeks ago for Morticia and Gomez (not my children's real names). Last night was back-to-school night and it was...um...interesting.

The husband and I stroll up outside the cafegymatorium (a term we've absorbed from "Everyone Loves Raymond" - giving credit where it's due) and are pleased to see lots of parent friends we've not caught up with yet since summer ended. There is much hello-waving and near-miss hugging. The husband moves off with a couple of dads and I stand with one of the moms, swapping information about our son's new teachers.
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Mom #1: "Oh, you're so lucky! Gomez is going to love that teacher - she's fabulous! So who'd Morticia get?"
Me: "Mrs. Yummy. I met her the first day and she seems really nice."
Mom #1: "Oh." [looks away]
Me: "What?"
Mom #1: "Oh, nothing. I'm sure she's great." [avoiding eye contact]
Me: "What is it?"
Mom #1: [lowers voice] "It's just that...you know who's in Mrs. Yummy's class, don't you?"
Me: "No, who?"
Mom #1: [looks side to side and leans in closer] "Chuckie." (Note: totally random, made-up name)
Me: "Who?"
Mom #1: "Morticia's pretty quick on her feet, right?"
Me: "Why do you ask?"
Mom #2: [approaches] "Hey, guys, what teachers did you get?"
Mom #1: "Morticia got Mrs. Yummy."
Mom #2: [hand flies to throat] "Oh, no! Your daughter's in with Chuckie?"
Mom #3: [approaches] "Who's in with Chuckie?"
Mom #1: "Anna's daughter."
Mom #3: "Oooh, tough break. Does she know Tae Kwon Do? Any martial arts at all?"
Me: "What?"
Mom #3: I'm just saying, best to be prepared."
Me: "Wait a minute, isn't your son in Mrs. Yummy's class, too?"
Mom #3: "He was. For a day. Then we got out."
Me: "How'd you manage that? They said no one could switch teachers. No exceptions."
Mom #3: "They make an exception when you have a restraining order."
Me: "A restraining order?"
Mom #3: "Just against the mom." [she looks over my shoulder and her eyes sweep the crowd of parents]
Me: "What?!"
Mom #3: "It's a long story."
Mom #1: "Yeah, and a good one." [wiggles eyebrows]
Mom #3: "She has to stay 100 yards away from me. Except on school grounds she's allowed to come as close as ten feet." [she turns suddenly and looks behind her]
Mom #2: "I can't believe you don't know who Chuckie is. He's, like, famous throughout the district." [sees another parent friend walking by and calls to him] "Hey, who'd you get?"
Passing Dad: "We got Mrs. Rainbow!" [raises fists in triumph] "No Chuckie!"
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Have I mentioned that I miss summer vacation?

10 comments:

PJ Hoover said...

Are you seriously kidding? I can't believe this. A restraining order. Against the mom. No way.

Anna Lefler said...

Yes, there was a separate history there on the adult side in addition to what I kept hearing about the child. I just had to share the experience because it was surreal for this same child (whom I've yet to meet or even see) to keep echoing through conversations with parent after parent. I've got a lot of faith in our teacher and our school and I know we'll have a great year regardless. As back-to-school nights go, though, it gave me pause... Thanks for your comment, PJ!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Loved this!

Can you get a preemptive restraining order against the mom too?

Thanks for stopping by my blog and I look forward to reading more of yours!

- Margaret

Karen said...

OMG! We had one of those in my daughter's class. They finally kicked him out of school. (But nicely, because his parents are big donors and have other kids in the school). I guess that's one advantage of private school--it's easier to get rid of bad eggs. But then there's that whole tuition thing.

Florinda said...

I hope you will keep us informed about the Chuckie story as the year unfolds...unless you make a teacher switch too.

They call it the "cafegymatorium" at my stepson's school. Seriously. A notice came home last week about some event/meeting that would take place in the "cafegymatorium." I don't remember what the event was, though - I guess I paid more attention to the location!

Bee said...

That is hilarious! I hope the tell you what happened since I'm dying to find out! :o)

Anna Lefler said...

Yes, it's going to be an interesting year. From the reports I'm getting (via Morticia), our teacher already is getting a firm handle on the situation, which is great. We will strive to view this as an opportunity to learn and grow, yes?

(Needless to say, I'm sure there are families out there smacking their foreheads and lamenting that they will have to deal with Morticia's super-sarcastic, twitchy mother for the next 10 months...Ha!)

I will keep you posted! :^)

Beth Kephart said...

You are not twitchy.

You are hysterical.

I just watched you on youtube and you brightened my day!

Binny V A said...

OK - now I want to meet the Chukie guy. Reminds me of some of my old classmates.

Big Blue Frog said...

I went to school with two "Chuckies," a couple of guys named Sherrel and Sydney. Looking back, I think they were destined to be bullies. Kind of a Boy Named Sue Syndrome.