A Portent Of Doom (Plus News And A Group Hug)

Let's get the doom out of the way right now.

I don't know what it bodes for the weekend that I woke up this morning with a Hanson song on my lips. What unspeakable dreams must I have had that would culminate in the utterance of "Mmm-Bop!" just as my alarm clock started bleating?

I trust we shall not speak of this again.

And, in other news...

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Congratulations to Jessica Gottlieb for winning our HARO contest (below)! Although no one got the answers exactly right, Jessica came closest. Therefore, according to the Big Book of Silly Blog Contest Rules (sitting right here on my desk underneath my nunchucks and a can of Raid), she wins the loot!

What's that prize again? Feast your eyes on this little piece of head candy:

[Note to self: look up "head candy" at UrbanDictionary.com to make sure it's not dirty.]

Yesss. So stand by, Jessica, because the fellas in fulfillment will be contacting you shortly to arrange for shipping and there will likely be some tax paperwork to complete as well.

And, for those of you playing the home version of our game, here are the answers:

These media inquiries are REAL:

• Factoids On Mucus
• Professional Chefs Who Ride Bicycles
• Benefits to Having Longer Labia [I know! WhatEVER.]
• Labeled a Slut in High School?

And these are the ones I MADE UP:

• Use of Balloon Animals in Anger-Management Courses
• Tips on Winterizing Your Mullet
• Men's Sport Kilt: The New Choice for Casual Friday?
• Finding the Right Personal Stylist for Your Baby or Toddler

It gives one pause, yes? Thanks to EVERYONE who commented and participated!

(On a side note, I, for one, think it takes a big man to wear a kilt. Especially in, say, West Virginia. And even more especially if your job is something like delivering bottled water or teaching 7th grade. In my book, wearing clothes that have a built-in danger factor is indicative of a certain heartiness of spirit melded with good-natured whimsicality that I find kind of appealing. I might be an enthusiast. Whatever. I'm just sayin'.)

Now, get over here and give me some sugar (and two cool badges).

On the blog bling front, I've had two lovely surprises this week.

The first is from Karen over at NouvelleBlogger, who put me in line for this:

Obviously, super-cool. Thank you, Karen! Karen and I met in prison and I highly recommend her blog. [Ahem. The link's right up there.]

I also received this from Deb at Debbie Does Drivel:

Wow! Thank you, Deb! Deb and I connected through HumorBloggers.com and her blog is hilarious. [OK, those are the only two places you have to go. I'm not asking that much, am I? Seriously, it's a little late in the evening to be playing this hard to get.]

Now, I know there are all sorts of rules and obligations that come with these awards so I've sent those files over to the legal department where a couple of highly trained and appropriately degreed women are "reviewing" them, which I think in actuality means "removing all the paper clips, scattering the papers all over the desks then stomping down to the break room to sit at a plastic table, drink Tab and sullenly flip through Us Magazine while grousing about how it's just plain unattractive when young, female celebrities allow themselves to get so damn skinny!"

Thanks again, Karen and Deb! Sally Field moment!