Like many people, I often turn for guidance in times of crisis to an authority figure...someone who operates on a higher realm...someone who can extend to me the sage, informed counsel that I seek when faced with life's many obstacles and predicaments.
I see you nodding.
You know where I'm going with this.
Yes, like you, I can be found during these trying times standing under my carport in my leg warmers with hands raised, straining to be heard over the unbalanced washing machine thumping away in the background as a single, plaintive question crosses my lips:
"What would Burt Reynolds do?"
Throughout history, civilization has turned to the wise and moustachioed for inspiration in the disciplines of science, philosophy and the arts.
Only in the last, say, thirty years, however, has civilization come around to appreciating that the true wisdom of the follicular-upper-lipular (I'm pretty sure that's Latin) lies in the more contemporary, more enigmatic disciplines of creative finance, interpersonal relationships and, of course, stunt driving.
Which leads one to ask - what is the source of the moustache's remarkable power? And why should it be available only to those who have the natural ability to grow one (watch it, I'm sensitive about that) or who regularly enter their car by leaping through the T-top while being chased by thugs with no lines of dialogue?
Well, those days are over.
Prepare to wield the power of the 'stache for your own ends - and in the comfort of your own recliner. I give you:
And I mean that quite literally because I am, indeed, giving away a moustache-on-a-stick!
(It's not my personal one, you understand. It's a fresh one, cast in resin from a hand carved mold and stuck on a, um, stick. Hell, no, I didn't make it! I think it's pretty obvious that I have better things to do with my time. Okay, maybe it's not so obvious, but you know, I do stuff.)
Anyone who follows the moustache commodities market will tell you that this is one super-swank piece of blog catnip that will deliver unto its lucky owner both razor-sharp insight and a superhuman ability to burn rubber in any gear.
Of course, you folks will have your own uses for this powerful implement.
And speaking of which: the person who leaves the most entertaining and persuasive comment describing why they want their very own moustache-on-a-stick and/or what they would use it for will receive the one pictured above!
That's right - I will ship it directly to the winner at no cost! (Just to be clear, though, you're on the hook for your own Trans Am and jumpsuit.) As long as your comment is submitted by 3:00 pm Pacific Standard Time on Saturday, October 18, it will be in the running to bring home the 'stache.
So let 'er rip and tell us how you would wield your moustache power and, who knows? Next week at The Red Lobster someone might just tap you on the shoulder and say, "Hey, friend, aren't you Burt Reynolds?"
Happens to me all the time...
Good luck and may the 'stache be with you.
AND A HUGE NOTE OF THANKS...
...to all the SITS ladies who took the time to visit and comment here during yesterday's spectacular blogathon! I was overwhelmed by your kindness and enthusiasm and I look forward to visiting and commenting on your blogs ASAP.
(Perhaps at that time you will share with me your secrets to hair with loads of body and manageability. Just a thought.)
Thanks again so much!