Wednesday, November 5, 2008

But It Looked So Pretty on the Internet...

Caviar Dreams

If you're like me, when you hear this phrase, images like this come to mind:


Or perhaps something like this:


Or at least freakin' this:


You see where I'm going, right?

Okay, so now how about this?


Right, because apparently in nail polish world, "Caviar Dreams" translates into frothy gray with metallic green undertones [insert gagging sounds]:


I'm afraid to fall asleep around here for fear I'll wake up wearing a toe tag.

[Note to self: No more Web cosmetics purchases. I can't believe you didn't learn your lesson after the Japanese electric eyelash-curler incident. And the "earthy" perfume incident. And the navy-blue mascara incident. And the iridescent-body-glitter incident. And the I-just-baked-a-cake-on-my-face foundation incident. And the lipstick-that-made-you-look-like-that-dude-from-The-Cure incident. New rule: you are not allowed to buy anything while sitting down.]

And Furthermore...



This steak is made of paper. What's up with that?

48 comments:

Linda said...

Um honey? Have you ever seen Caviar? It's frothy gray w/green undertones. really. call me next time. I can help you out with this=)

Maggie said...

LOL Shopping in real life is WAY more fun for me!! I try to stay away from internet purchases.

jennifersusan said...

Maybe the person who wrote the ad is color blind and to him it really is frothy grey with green undertones? OR maybe it's not really meant to be on your nails...have you tried applying it somewhere else? OR maybe it's not even for your body, maybe it's for paper. Yes, definitely, I bet on paper it's the right color.

The Mom said...

That polish could have been cute last weekend for Halloween...ew raw meat in the morning, thanks now i'm nauseous!

Eudea-Mamia said...

Two words - fish eggs.

That clever marketing genius should have thought through that name selection.

Em

Always Home and Uncool said...

Good thing you didn't go for the Escargot Ecstacy.

Reddirt Woman said...

That steak looks awesome to an Okie beef-eating woman on a fixed income, and are you sure it's made of paper? No one should be allowed to make something like that... My mouth started watering and my salivary glands aren't listening to me when I say it's fake.

As to the makeup... I rarely buy make-up anymore in real life, much less on line. My laugh wrinkles are so deep I'd need crack spackle to start so I just gave up. I'll dress my eyes a bit for special occasions, but that's it.

Thanks for the comic relief this morning.

Helen

Deb said...

The 'caviar' part should have told you something. Next time look for salmon eggs - they are a pretty, peachy/pinky/orangey... well, salmon color. You could glue them to your nails, just be sure not pick your nose after you do that.

Nicole said...

LOL, I have given up on internet shopping as well. Nothing ever fits right or looks like it does on the stinkin model! Then again I dont have a body like the model either!

Becky :) said...

Ok, maybe I can learn a lesson from you. I don't think I will be making any online purchases for any cosmetics anytime soon.

Seriously, is that steak made of paper. Cause it looks totally real. Someone must have TOO MUCH time on their hands.

Natalie said...

Wha??? I am confused by the meat. Is that a note pad? That's hilarious.

Um...I kinda like the nail polish...then again I've got black nail polish on right now so there ya go.

LarryG said...

well personally i like those nails... but the rest of the costume is hidden :)

Come over to my blog for your award Smiles...

The Hussy Housewife said...

Yes sturgeon eggs..no thanks. Sweet baby jesus..what are you all buying on the internet? Now paper steak? I love it..are you giving it away..you know since I lost the stache on a stick contes..i could use a paper steak???

QuirkyLoon said...

Don't hate me because my mustache is better than yours, but I tagged you!

Six random facts about you and then you get to select six other lucky bloggers.

Heh heh?

Say, say, oh playmate,
Won't you come play with me
And bring your Dolly three
Climb up my apple tree....

That steak looks mighty tasty!

AngiDe- Nana's Box said...

Seriously paper!?!? WHOA, that's too weird for me.

Angie
"Nana's Box"

angiesscos said...

LOL That has got to be the most putrid color of nail polish ever.

Crazy online purchases, you may be a good candidate for an intervention. Who's with me?

The Wife O Riley said...

Then it probably doesn't taste very good...

Swirl Girl said...

I live in a 'if I can't touch it, it ain't real kinda world'

I have no imagination when it comes that kind of stuff.

Bummer for my kids, huh?

Wendy said...

That is the perfect vegetarian steak. I hear paper takes on the flavor of whatever sauce it's cooked with.

jori-o said...

Where do you find this stuff?? Paper steaks? Is it a prop for model homes or something? To sit out on the back patio where the BBQ should go?

Kimberly said...

A Japanese electric eye curler? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!

I hope it didn't take long for them to grow back.

Somehow the Michael Kors trench coat from Bluefly worked out for me though. Luck of the draw I guess :)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

What??? Whatever happened to, "If at the first 47 times you don't succeed, try try again."?

Beth Kephart said...

I wanted to post a really clever comment. But 22 people already have.

Drat.

Melodie said...

LOL!

And paper steak? WTF?

Cristina said...

Is that steak seriously made out of paper? Because I will eat it, no matter what it's made of.

MammaDucky said...

I kinda dig the polish in a Riverside Monster sort of way.
The paper meat is freakin me out, man. I can't wrap my little brain around it.

Sabrae said...

Oh who doesn't think of the rich and luxurious when thinking of Caviar Dreams! :) One day that will be me! LOL In my dreams maybe!

Theresa Cloyd said...

Is it weird that I like the color? Probably not for my fingernails because it's practically impossible to keep it from flaking off but definitely for my toes. Ok yep I guess I'm weird. As for the steak, what's up with that? I find it hard to fathom that's its made of paper. But then again there are people out there who are way more talented than I am!

Cassoulet Cafe said...

Is that a SLEESTACK???? :)

Poetikat said...

Have you seen "that dude from the Cure" lately? I happened to catch a clip of a recent concert and he is one SCARY fellow. I saw them at a concert at Wonderland (an amusement park) in 1987 and they were fab (always loved "Lovecats"), but they really should pack it in now.
I remember navy blue mascara from the 70s. It was so beautiful! And then it rained.

Kat

Aubrey said...

LOL
Were there reviews on the product?

I think it looks kind of fab. But then again, frothy gray w/metallic green undertones has always been my favorite color!

Tug said...

I used to work at a place where we sold stuff through catalogs. It was always fun to be in the warehouse when people picked up their supposedly "beige" couch. I guess people can get upset when their $2500 couch doesn't really mesh with their carpet. :]

Oh. And thanks for the comment!

zenmom said...

TeeHee. Yeah, well, that's about the color of caviar. Though I agree there is nothin' dreamy about it.

My question is what the heck were the marketing folks thinking?!

I'm guessing it was something like: "Let's name it after fish eggs .... pass the bong."

Seriously, what were they going for? That big teenage-goth-emo-Robin-Leach-fans demographic?

Mer said...

I'm just amazed that something that should resemble fish eggs said "fashion accessory" to you. :D

nikkicrumpet said...

Ummm I hate to break this to you...but if your cavier is frothy and has green undertones...DON'T EAT IT!!! Sheesh woman do you want to be dead? Oh wait...your nails are already painted for the occasion! Funny stuff...as ususal.

sandy said...

Eek! I agree that would have been perfect for Halloween last week.

Thanks for stopping by my Saucy blog:)

Justine said...

ROFL! But I gotta tell you, I kind of like the polish, and you've got such pretty hands!!!!!!!!!

Justine :o )

MuseSwings said...

The nail polish looks like a great color for a stash. My brain is having a slow down after looking at the paper steak too long and trying to make it be real.

Hula's Secret Blog said...

Oooh! I like that nail polish!

Brenda Jean said...

Ummm...that looks black to me. BAHAHAHAHA But, hey isn't black the new pink? Oh wait- or is pink the new black. Never mind...

Bar-b said...

I haven't read your comments but I kind of like it. I might be weird but I wear the dark blue one from OPI and the green one called Greenwich something or other. You know what though, not the point. Stop buying stuff whilst sitting down..lol.

Missouri Musings said...

if that meat is made of paper, i want to know what printer THEY use and how much that bad boy costs!

manic mariah said...

What the fuck is up with the paper steak?

Tracy said...

Yeah, see, for me, the fish guy would have been the first thing that popped into my mind. I had it once didn't like it.
I think rich people just eat stuff like that to make us think there's something wrong with us regular folks but they know it doesn't taste good either.

What happened with the eyelast curler?

Rhea said...

Paper steak?! I'm confused. That's just wrong.

That polish is OK, but not quite my color. I like a bright blue or a deep purple when I'm feeling fun...or a coral or red when I'm feeling southern.

Internet purchases are DANGEROUS. I agree. I've banned myself from Ebay until Christmas.

WheresMyAngels said...

Ok, I'm loving that paper steak!

WheresMyAngels said...

Oh not loving the polish unless it was on a pimply 16 year old Goth Girl.

Imogen Lamport said...

Not being a fish eater I don't spend much time around caviar, but when I do think about it - it's usually as I buy caviar dip for my husband, and that's pink!

So if they call it anchovy, steer well clear!

Love your blog too - thanks for stopping by mine!