Thursday, December 11, 2008

We Mock What We Don't Understand

Is there anything more wonderful at the holidays than spending time with family and special friends?

This Christmas season is extra special because one of my dearest friends happens to be in town and I'm happy to be hosting him in our home for a few days.

Everybody, say hello to Whitey:


Whitey and I go way back (man, could I tell you some stories), but underneath he's just your average dude, ready to coast through vacation and do a few of his favorites things...


...like rock climbing...


...hanging out in the yard...


...and diving into a fantastic book.

Whitey's no slacker, though:


As house guests go, he really pulls his weight.

Only Whitey's closest friends know his softer, more philosophical side...


...the one that believes we should all take time to stop and smell the roses.

As a hostess, I try to provide anything he might need while he's here...


...whether he's turning in for the night...


...or chillaxin' to some Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass.

Hey, Whitey...


...tell' em about that thing you did in Panama that time, you know, with the bacon and the ping-pong paddle. [*snort*]


Whitey?


Aw, no, man! You want to get your heart stomped on like last time?


Besides, she's too tall - too tall!


Man, I can not talk to him when he gets that look on his face.



So, get this: Ann, whose blog happens to be called Ann's Rants (there's a sweet coincidence - the perfect storm!), has paid me the immense honor of posting my list of silly blog acronyms (previous post) on her sidebar. That's right - I said sidebar. I mean, no one ever changes their sidebar, right? (I, for one, have not updated mine since 1978.) I look forward to seeing them there for years to come.

In the meantime, however, if you have not yet had the pleasure of visiting Ann's pad, you definitely should - she's smart, sly, a terrific writer and...I'll just say it: a minx. (There's also a rumor floating around the 'Net that she knows her way around a pair of nunchucks.) Thank you so much, Ann!

Big thanks also to Brenda Jean at In The Treetop for the Lemonade Award (available for viewing in the luscious sidebar at right) AND to Little Everyday Things for an awesome shout-out during the recent SITS holiday greetings event. More great blogs a-go-go!

86 comments:

Christa said...

I'm a little surprised you didn't snap a photo of him napping or taking a potty break. Did you go all "G" rated over here or what?

With a complexion like that - I hope he wears SPF 30!

And Yo - I got a new post up called Brain Farts - right up your alley...me thinks...check it out!

Christa at Giggle On!

horatio salt said...

these pics are hilarious! [um, did i just see jon bon jovi's underpants hangin' out of the dryer? ewwww!]

One Hypo said...

I hope pink doesn't break Whitey's heart. I hate seeing heartbreak over the holidays.

Tova Darling said...

Haha! Whitey is fantastic!

Grand Pooba said...

You are such a gracious host! If whitey new what was good for him, he'd leave that pink bitch alone!

Just a Blogger said...

This is totally something I can see my daughter doing in 20 years! I love that you call him whitey, and the pink chics earing.

derfina said...

Heh. Whitey obviously knows...What happens in Panama stays in Panama!

Jamie said...

Whitney's a cutie...pink must be nuts to not be all over that ;-) Get it...nuts, hahahaha!

flydragon said...

I noticed Whitey didn't rummage through the refrigerator and eat up all the goodies and drink up all the beer. Now that's the kind of house guest I like.

Becca Watson said...

Ha Ha very funny!! Love the pictures!

Divine Chaos said...

the very next time one of my friends says I have too much time on my hands, because I take crazy pictures like .. my slice of cold pizza with all my pneumonia meds making a smiley face on it .. and that I have way too much time on my hands ... I'm sending them here LOL .. Whitey is fantabulous! Run that pink bitch off .. shoot her!

Kelley with Amy's Angels said...

Wow, Whitey is lucky to have a host like you!

: )

Ann's Rants said...

Holy shmoly guacamole.Thanks Anna. Guess I better put those back on the sidebar now...;)

I'm truly flattered by your kind words (she says swinging nunchucks wildly...by the way I always thought they were numbchucks!! Add that to my unintentionally funny post)

The Rambler said...

THAT was farking funny!!!!

Especially the "hard" part about watching your house guest fall over the deep end with those "expensive", ahem you know we don't say that word around here, pink things. Make sure he gets checked out when he gets back home. He might need medicated lotion for the privates :)

Blissful Babe said...

OMG You are sucha dork!!

I love you!!

Marinka said...

I find this post completely racist. Great job!

;)

Ma'dame French said...

You are so quirky~~~love it;) French

Zen Ventures said...

Whitey is my kind of guy! I would love him visit me sometimes :)

Swirl Girl said...

you are such a magnanimous hostess.

Whitey is welcome at my house any day...to do laundry and read to the kid.

does he freak out if we put maple syrup on our waffles in the morning?

Comedy Goddess said...

I have a cute little baby pink faux feather tree that would be just the right match up for your tree, I mean friend. It's a Barbie tree I might add! Sexy!

amy said...

*snicker* Thanks for giving me a great chuckle today! What a fun blog. Merry Christmas to you & Whitney!

The Hussy Housewife said...

Love Whitey! We all need friends..no matter what type of holiday symbol they be. The pic of him on the swing with your dog in the background would be even better if your dog was dooking or lifting his leg on the tree...oh wait knowing you that is the next post..."Dog shows Whitey who runs this house" post

only a movie said...

That last photo finished the story up nicely.

I needed the laugh tonight. Thanks, Anna!

Sabrae said...

That was tooo funny!!! Do you have to much time on your hands??? lmao!

A New England Life said...

That Whitey, he's a playah! And his new lady friend kind of reminds me of Lafonda. You know, Lafonda, from Napoleon Dynamite.

Speaking of blog rolls, thank you for adding me to yours : )

Always Home and Uncool said...

Did Whitey Spray 'n' Wash the skid marks, too?

Hairline Fracture said...

Dude, you are so funny. You think of these things AND you follow through. I barely can get pictures of my kids up--occasionally!

HappyHourSue said...

Ha! LMAO at the reading glasses....as my old boyfriend used to say about tall girls:
"Hey there, High-Pockets..."

Lianne said...

Holy cow! That was hysterical.

That was very imaginative and had to be time consuming! You so did *NOT* do the laundry at your house this week, did ya? :D

I love the shot of whitey with the Tighty Whities. It was metaphorically beautiful.

Blicky Kitty said...

Thanks for the nice mental image of the real Bon Jovi in tighty whiteys.

I think Whitey can decide things for himself. I'm sure a lot of people will judge them for the color of their needles. Maybe they are just too different. But maybe, just maybe that's the kind of conifer lovin' this crazy mixed up world needs a little more of.

I'm sure I'm just imagining this but wasn't she in last month's National Geographic centerfold without her earrings and bow?

dizzblnd said...

Everyone should have a Whitey!

willow said...

Whitey with the whitey tighties is the best.

Tug said...

Um. What was the ring on the pink tree supposed to be? Do I want to know? :]

Chase said...

*mock*

KiKi said...

You never fail to make me laugh, sista! xo - Ki

Bulldog said...

You see that whitey? whitey is a tree, and pinkey is another one. just saying.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

Hi! You are right. I do love the free..but I would pay to the ceiling (a dollar) to read your stuff :) Whitey is as a white as I get during the winter. I still have to wear an SPF Corpse during these times. Funny, funny.

Vodka Mom said...

oh jesus, I just laughed my ass off!! Thanks, I needed a pick me up!!!!

nikkicrumpet said...

Everytime I think to myself..."she isn't gonna be able to top this post!" You go and do it. However..."you ain't gonna be able to top this post!" Clever and funny and a wee bit bizarre...just like you!

My First Kitchen said...

The underwear is offputting and yet somehow my favorite part of the post.

DiPaola Momma said...

Woman you are so TOO MUCH! LMAO.. hey bring over the tree guy, I'll make the dirty martinis (cuz I think he likes em dirty) and we'll see what we can find under the tree.. HA!!!!

I think I'm adding you to the list of tre cool peeps who'll get the invite to the big bash I'll be planning at that chic private club in NYC.. once I win the freaking lottery! Maaan those guys promised me if I got them the IL senate seat I'd be in like flinn and I ain't seen a (explative deleted) penny yet!!!

Have a great day, thanks for the giggles.

Pearl said...

Dang tiny trees. When will they learn?!
:-)
Pearl

Joanna said...

Haha! That's funny.

He can always crack open a tube of cookie dough and join the rest of us. ;)

Renee said...

I honestly don't know if there is a better blog out here for pure fun.

You know that I need all I can get, so I am assuming you were put on this earth for me.

I love this post yet again, especially when I got to Herb Albert (haven't heard of him in years).

The pictures were amazing and it is so obvious to all that you are amazing too.

Thanks for this post.

Love Renee

MuseSwings said...

Pink is just arm candycane. When will he learn?
Did I say Bwahahahahah! With a few snorts in the middle? And half of my latte on the keyboard?

doug said...

I was stunned to see your comment on my blog. I honestly didnt expect it. Danke!

And Whitey needs to get more game.lol. Or perhaps he was just shy 'cos of the camera?

The Blonde Duck said...

I love the pink tree!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

So Whitey is just another gullable schmuck when it comes to those pink branches. That's poison ivy dressed in pink clothing, Whitey!

(omg, i LOVED this post!)

The Wife O Riley said...

Is this what you do when you don't Twitter?

Raph G. Neckmann said...

I've been laughing about this all day - it's brilliant! It also made me think about how one values ones guests and friends ...

(Also I didn't feel too neccentric taking photos of splodges on our cooker!)

Temple said...

I think I saw Whitey on Montel where Pinky had him submitting to a DNA test...it wasn't pretty. He'll be back..


lol..awesome post!

My Side of the Story! said...

I think you happened to wander into an imaginary friend AA meeting and Michelle must have been a child star.

You're too cool to live here and you would have to put up with the uncool and the snow.

My Side of the Story! said...

"The Wife of Riley" (my wife) is pissed. She didn't notice she was on my account and posted the "Uncool" comment.

I don't want to take credit for what goes on in her brain! LOL!

PS: Majorettes are HOT! Love the pom poms on the shoes! LOL!

essee said...

I lost it when I saw Whitey doing laundry. I like to think about the time it took you to take all of these pictures. And how (if it were me anyway) I'd be cracking myself up as I put Whitey in each new situation.

Mathilde said...

Those are hillarious! Very weird and fitting....for something even more bizarre though watch theses bbc documentaries
http://laviebizarre.blogspot.com/

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I want the picture after the two trot off.

good stuff.

Braja said...

Typical, runs off with the first bit of pink...

Oh that was bad.

musing said...

Never trust a pink tree.

Imogen Lamport said...

Anna - I find this post very 'tallist' so why can't pinky be taller than whitey? Is there some rule that we have to be with people who are the same as us? What kind of 'istist' are you anyway?

Ann's Rants said...

Anna, I had to thank you over at my blog now, because I'm still so touched by your kind words. Now we can stop this lunacy.

Yaya said...

Whitey is such a cool cat. He's welcome to come visit me, but his skanky girlfriend will have to clean her act up first!

Lizzie said...

oh my God, seriously you have made my day! i'll keep a look out for whitey :) i see more to come in his future. maybe a vacation with tropical drinks in hand? that would mean you would have to go and bring your camera. tell your hubby "i need to go to hawaii, because my bloggy friends said so, Oh and whitey has to come too!" have a good weekend

Elle said...

I'm not completely convinced that pink is her color.

Celia Pleete said...

HAHAAHAH this is cute. I love it!!!!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

So.... what's wrong with being tall.... and wearing pink? This tall pink girl would like to know.

Di
The Blue (pink) Ridge Gal

Jaime said...

pretty funny

La Belette Rouge said...

I think Whitey should lose the contacts and stick to the glasses. He looks so smart in glasses. I saw a Goldy at Target today that might turn Whitey's head(limbs) or whatever it is that turns when a tree is smitten.

Yaya said...

That is freaking hilarious!!!!!!!!

WA said...

What was Susan Powter doing at your house?

Beth Kephart said...

Wow! I have always had a fantasy of sitting on a train or plane or inside a bus stop shelter (though it would be better if I were sitting on the shelter) and seeing someone reading one of my books.

A fantasy that has not come true until today, thanks to Whitey, who has such FABULOUS taste.

Plus, Whitey has a fabulous name, for Whitey is actually the nickname of Richie Ashburn, a big-time Phillies player of days now past, father of a friend of mine.

Whitey. They are special, special folks.

Braja said...

Excuse me missy, shoutout day at my place. Bring your own alcohol...oh wait...Vodka Mom will be there...

Indonesian Traditional Handycraft said...

I got your news as a panty ficture etc. I like it.

Indonesian Traditional Handycraft said...

the fics is better and I like it. you smart the fics variously and tremendous!

Poetikat and the Hyggecats said...

"Chillaxin'". I'm going to use that one and who doesn't love Herb Alpert? Does he do Christmas tunes with the TB? I've got to add that to my Playlist.

Congrats on the acronymic sidebar! Come on over to the The Hyggehus for something YOU are definitely going to get a charge out of! (hint: look for the words "Foster Brooks"

Luv,

Kat

tara @ kidz said...

I like when he's on the swing. So funny! Merry Christmas!

Expressions By Devin said...

I stopped by from the Christmas in Bloggyland Tour.This blog was so Funny,I am still laughing thanks for making my day!!!

steviewren said...

Whitey's certainly dressed for the season! Enjoy catching up with your old friend!

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage said...

Hello from another Christmas Bloggyland Tour guest! Loved this post! You are so creative!!!! Please pop over to visit me if you get a chance! I'm off to read more of your posts...

Amy

Yaya said...

Merry Christmas in Bloggyland!

JANE said...

Stopped by on the Bloggyland Tour! LOVED this, it ROCKS!!

Being Brazen said...

This post was hysterical!!! Loved it. Just discovered your blog - great stuff :)

Mim said...

I really like Whitey especially when he is washing his tighty-whitey's. And Miss Pink is certainly alluring - I wonder if they will have pink and white spotted little tree pinecones or sort of a light pink. What do you think???? Have you advised him that it's best to stay within your color range when contemplating marriage (which I assume he is contemplating after seeing the look on his face)

TOO funny! Great way to start the day

jennifersusan said...

I've got Whitey's cousin Blue hostage in my 6yo's room, but he may have ran into an incident with a certain little black cat. Ooops!

Michelle said...

What's the phrase... Bros before hos...

LEon said...

This is a very fun post. Should have more of it.

Text Imps said...

That's just flat out hilarious! The last picture made me spit my coke out. I couldn't believe Whitey just walked away like that! The nerve!!