Monday, April 26, 2010

You're So Vein.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I made a discovery in the shower this morning. (No, not that discovery. Sheesh.)

I discovered that the Universe (see how I capitalized that? that'll pay off one of these days, you just wait) is communicating with me.

That's right: the Big U is paging Little A.


I used to think that if I ever had a metaphysical encounter, it would animated - like those Monty Python cartoons where the clouds stomp around with big, muscular calves and a pig can fall out of the sky and squish you without warning.

(Actually, I'd prefer that
all communications be handled in this format.)

But now I know that not all metaphysical messages are accompanied by cartoon trumpet fanfare.


Truth is, I'm always on the lookout for little signs. I like to think that a particular Roy Clark song on the radio carries a hopeful message meant just for me, or that when I make three green lights in a row (screaming brakes and leaping pedestrians notwithstanding), it's the Universe's way of giving me a little wink and saying, "Hey, Anna, I got your back."


So I was tickled today to discover yet another friendly nod from beyond.


The words were small, wiggly and reddish-purple.

And they were on my thigh.


That's right - the Universe is communicating with me through my spider-veins.

Here, see for yourself:


Can you read it? Too far away? Okay, let me zoom in a bit:



Ta-da!
Isn't that amazing? I know it's kind of hard to make out, but if you squint your eyes and tilt your head to one side you can see that the letters spell H-E-L-L-O.


Isn't that cool?!?

Once again, the Universe has tapped me on the shoulder leg with a friendly dispatch and I just had to share the experience with you all.

Who knows where my next special bulletin will appear? I can't wait!



CONGRATULATIONS!


The winner of last week's drawing to win my BlogHer '10 ticket is Jana from
An Attitude Adjustment! High-five! And thank you to everyone who commented and entered the drawing!

And...

Thank you to Cheryl at Deckside Thoughts for the lovely Sunshine Award!

34 comments:

sherri said...

the universe has been trying to make me convert a divet in my gut to a soap dish ever since I had my second child. I think some people use sit ups to communicate back to the universe about that, but I'm thinking of just keepin it, cause it could come in handy.

Megan said...

Man, when I look back at all the messages from the universe I must have missed because I didn't even think to check my legs.... what a bummer.

La Belette Rouge said...

If I connect the dots on my freckles it spells out the words,"If you can read this you are too close."

Frau said...

I wonder if the cottage cheese on my legs is really a coded message I've miss read. I think it said your fat but maybe I read it wrong and it says sexy!

Cheryl said...

I just checked and you're not going to believe what I've got going on. It's an outline of your mustache with an exclamation point at the end. I think the Universe speak for LAUGH!

Anna See said...

My brows are trying to tell me something, too, but I can't read them backwards in the mirror.

Wendy said...

my cottage cheese ass has been trying to tell me something for years...but I am too busy waggling my Granny Clampett arm flaps to hear it!

gretchen said...

Are you sure it's the universe? Maybe it's the tiny alien growing inside your body.

Lisa Loo said...

I'm surprised you didn't end this with--Ha! made you look! Cuz I know I did! Is that bad?

Ann's Rants said...

My spider veins are much more gregarious--they are like the chairmen of my knee-pits.

Thank you for giving me a dose of Anna Awesome-nitude.

xo

Not The Rockefellers said...

My butt dimples say Achtung! In Braille...that's right.

Snappy Di said...

What bugs me is when my spider veins speak to me.... out loud.... in Spanish. And then they offer me a taco when they know I'm on a diet dammit.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

sherri said...

p.s. congrats to the winner and I think next year I just may have to purchase a ticket on my own and go. I hope heavy coverage will be on your blawg, want to hear all bout it.

Clark Kent's Lunchbox said...

No you have me wondering what all the grey hairs in my nose have been trying to tell me. They just keep repeating themselves.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Funny. I thought my rash was telling me something quite different.

Heidi said...

Roy Clark?! Great, now I'm going to start having the Hee Haw nightmares again. I was just starting to get over them.

Glen said...

I thought the big U had left a message on my toes, but my when I took them to our local astronomer he just shrugged and suggested it might be Athletes Foot. Ho hum

The Empress said...

Oh, if I could give you all the awards in the world and flood your bloggy box, I would.

That was fabulous!

Your message is only a post it note, the universe left a bible on my thighs.

Yet,here I sit, with my blobby thighs , instead of exercising.

Maybe I"m a better conduit b/c of my expanse...

Vodka Mom said...

I'm afraid if I posted a shot of my thigh the universe would shatter.



or laugh out loud.

take your pick.

Pearl said...

Dork!

:-)

The Universe confers with me regularly. I see patterns in just about everything.

Pearl

K A B L O O E Y said...

I'll still trade you, because that picture of your thigh looks about the size of my calf. (I have a very wittle cow. It doesn't eat much and it walks on a leash.)

Shari said...

All I can say (besides you are hilarious, as usual) is that I hope you didn't write on your thigh with permanent ink. Tell me that was photoshopped.

Jan Rider Newman said...

ROTFL, Anna, first at your wonderful post, and then at the comments. I won't even try to compete with them.

Swirl Girl said...

I probably thought this post was about me...

CatLadyLarew said...

So THAT's what dork means...

BECKY said...

Anna, you dork, you!! Loved this post, as always!!!

Jeanne said...

I'm getting similar messages.

Only mine are on my face and say, "OLD!"

When Pigs Fly said...

Fascinating. Maybe I need to start looking into what those little wrinkles on my face are saying to me. Oh wait, they are telling me forty is really not the new thirty. Damn ad campaigns. I was just starting to believe it.

Daria said...

The signs are always there, but I'm soooo nearsighted I would totally miss that in the shower without my glasses. Should I start showering with them on? Hummm...

The Naked Writer said...

Sheesh! This blog is really funny stuff! I don't know if you are inspiring me to be funnier or just quit blogging all together! lol

I love your posts! They are funny and thought provoking and make my day when i read them!

I know you have a lot of readers and probably don't get to read other new blogs but if you have some time, maybe you would like to visit mine?

It's a wacky, funny blog that would make a 4 year old jealous cause of it's awesomeness...you know you wanna ( i know, it's shameless self promotion, but how else do you get to know people who are into the same things as me?)

http://www.thewritingwomb.com

thanks for making me laugh and for the support

bernthis said...

i'm actually jealous of his art skills. Seriously. Oh and he ever touches my little girl I will neuter him on the spot.

That's all. Have a great day!

Jun said...

Hilarious

BreakingItDown said...

I just found this blog. You are so freakin funny! I think that more people need to see you! I intend on putting you under my favorite blogs!

Mikey said...

great thanks lol.

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