Monday, June 28, 2010

Iron Ma'am

She's On a Mission.

Iron Ma'am
(Sung to the tune of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man")

Puckered with distaste,

Iron Ma'am's disdain shows in her face.

Times have changed too much,

The girls are chasing boys, sexting and such.


Hem below the knees,

Legs crossed at the ankles - she's not a tease.

Whither the cultured kind?

One more tacky tramp stamp and she'll lose her mind.


"Are you kidding me?

Those savages ignored my RSVP!"

Where's her thank-you note?

An email doesn't count - it must be hand-wrote!


CHORUS:

Nobody gets her,

Society's been set adrift.

Where's the decorum?

She's starting to get downright miffed.


Denim at the Met?

She gives that girl a lecture she won't forget.

White shoes into fall?

Iron Ma'am's determined to fix them all.


CHORUS:
Nobody gets her,

They think she's stuck in the past.

But that matron's fed up,

And she's gonna start kickin' ass.


Rules must be restored,

Iron Ma'am's prepared to go to the Board.

Boorish co-op party flap,

A lady of her station won't take that crap!

________________________________________________

C'mon, You Guys! Sing Along!


20 comments:

Ann Imig said...

OMG. Your uptight anthem! Hauntingly beautiful.

(SQUAWK!)



Ann

Irish Gumbo said...

This was truly funny. And a little scary. I can't get the Voice out of my head :)

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

Gramma Sophia? Is that you?

La Belette Rouge said...

Your croney/prudey rewrite is hilarious. xo

K A B L O O E Y said...

Is that a black mouse on her head? Couldn't concentrate for wondering.

KLZ said...

Ugh, tramp stamps. Hate.

This song is rather inspiring though. Makes me want to go do some power lifting.

essbesee said...

you are iron m'aam. i love your lyrics and now i'll never listen to that song the same way. oddly, i listen to it a lot, it is my 3 year old's favorite song. he digs some black sabbath, that kid.

Chris said...

Outstanding parody. Gotta love it!

Shari said...

"Those savages ignored my RSVP". Hate it when that happens.

You are too funny. Always.

Alexandra said...

How you think of these songs...from where?

Loved it, hilarious, words fit perfectly.

And now I'm singing "I am iron-ma'am..."

Thank you.

Beth said...

I have something fabulous for you over at my blog, cRaZy!

Joanna Jenkins said...

That song will never be the same again. Great job!

Happy weekend,
jj

HermanTurnip said...

I wanna hear the remix with P. Diddy (feat. Annie Lennox & McGruff the crime fighting dog). That joint would be off the chain, yo.

*throws devil horns in the air!*

* said...

awesome.
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Jeanne Estridge said...

I've been working at a local college for 5 weeks now, and people without tattoos are already starting to look odd to me....

Megan said...

You had me at whither.

shrink on the couch said...

frightening looking lady! the kind of grandma we are relieved we didn't have.

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Regards,
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