Monday, December 20, 2010

This Christmas, I'm Thankful...

...That No One Gave Me This:


I'm sorry, but this is perhaps the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life.

Rather than Christmas, I think more appropriate gifting opportunities for this particular item include:
  • A "get out" gift for that special someone
  • A little something to leave behind for the person who called out a name other than yours during sex (with you)
  • A heads-up for your parole office that you've skipped town
  • A token to nail to your ex's front door to show you stopped by...with your hatchet.
The catalog calls it a "driftwood angel." Really? In that case, I'm inspired now to realize my dream of opening an Etsy shop for my handcrafted Used Burrito Wrapper Potpourri Wish Flingers.

Please Note: This is not a craft project assembled by underprivileged children in a struggling nation or the like. Because that wouldn't be funny at all. Nope, this is just a regular old item being sold in a regular old catalog...for $35.00.

Just so you know - my Wish Flingers are priced to move at a budget-friendly $29.99, so come on by the storefront and finish up that holiday shopping! I will not be undersold!


In Other News...

I will be taking a little BlogLand breaky-poo over the holidays, so let me take this opportunity to wish ALL of you...


AND



Cheers, friends, and may the new year bring nothing but joy to your doorstep. See you in 2011!

XOXO

Anna

38 comments:

Ann Imig said...

The perfect gift for that Poppet-loving witch-accusing early New Englander!

Love to you and yours Anna!

xoxo

p.s. Considereth those who do not knoweth the Cinnamon Broomstick the luckiest dwellers of thy universe.

B. Freret said...

Hey, I saw Blair Witch! Hadn't thought about it in years, until this.

Happy Holidays!

SherilinR said...

"Used Burrito Wrapper Potpourri Wish Flingers"
that made me bust out laughing all goofy & unexpected like. glad my mouth was food-free or the screen would be wearing it.

Pearl said...

Oh, Good God, I remember those things! $35?! For driftwood and a garage-sale doll's dress.

Over here, shaking my head,

Pearl

Kira @ Kissing the Joy said...

Oh my gosh, this made me laugh really hard. Thanks for that and Merry Christmas to you as well! :)

Venom said...

It would've been more at home on Etsy...

San Diego Momma said...

Yep. The Blair Witch Decapitated Christmas Angel.

Very unfestive and not merry.

Unless you eat children. Then? Perfect gift.

Merry Christmas!

Heather said...

Fricking Scary Stick Thing indeed! That looks like something out of the Blair Witch Project. The first one, that scared the bejesus out of me, not the second one, which was laughably lame.

*shudder*

On another note, may I please order a set of Used Burrito Wrapper Potpourri Wish Flingers? I just signed up for Margaret's White Elephant party over at NGIP and I think these'd be perfect. I only wish I'd learned about your awesome craftiness in time to get my present for our extended family's White Elephant exchange on Saturday. Instead, I was forced to procure a different (yet potentially equally awesome) gift:

squirrel underpants.

No, seriously. Here's the link for them:

http://www.squirrelunderpants.com/

On a much more serious note, I'm wishing you and yours the happiest of holiday seasons!

xo

Elisse Jo Goldstein-Clark said...

Truly LOL, but w/shame, as I recall times when I've considered buying such "rustic", overpriced, & artsy-craftsy things. The voodoo angel from hell, though, baffles even me... Fortunately, usually Just In The Nick Of Time I usually recall my mother's famous words every time I looked at something interesting and asked for it: "You (or we) can MAKE that at home"!
And on that note I think I'll go get a glue gun & make something frightening & repulsive!
Squirrel Underpants made me snort coffee thru my nose, too.
Happy Festivus!

ungirdledpassion said...

Funny AND scary, Anna! I am sure you know about and visited regretsy.com - if not, I think you'll like it!!

Best wishes to you and yours for a wonderful holiday! Can't wait to see what you do with those burrito wrappers!

Lisa said...

I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas and very happy new year.

Tarja said...

You know, I saw the title of this post in my inbox and got scared. No! No! Anna's writing a THANKFUL POST? Sweet Jesus, NO!

Then I saw the Driftwood Angel of the Witch Hunting Apocalypse and felt immense relief.

Enjoy your bloggy break and have a great holiday!

HermanTurnip said...

That's ten shades of creepy. I mean, we're talking Children Of The Corn creepy. This is the sort of gift that kids from The Wicker Man give to their parents for Christmas...

purplemoon said...

Wow, someone is selling images of my mother-in-law? for only $35, What about danger pay? My MIL fiinds out is will be all over! Merry Holidays

purplemoon said...

Wow, someone is selling images of my mother-in-law? for only $35, What about danger pay? My MIL fiinds out is will be all over! Merry Holidays

purplemoon said...

Wow, someone is selling images of my mother-in-law? for only $35, What about danger pay? My MIL fiinds out is will be all over! Merry Holidays

Cheryl said...

It may be ugly and scary but at least it's not cheap.

Still waiting to find out how I too can be awesome with a dancing elf hat.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Okay, that thing is just creepy.

And happy holidays to you!!

Lizzie said...

AHHHHH scary! I WANT ONE! who's door can i sneak this on while they're sleeping, haa haa

Kitty Moore said...

Happy Holidays!

Shari said...

Does the $35 include the big long pins to stick in that skeery thing? Driftwood angel, my Aunt Fanny.

La Belette Rouge said...

It reminds me of some kind of Voodoo meets the Scarlet Letter thingamajig.xoxo

MuseSwings said...

I'm with B. Freret - this has Blair Witch written all over it. Thanks for sharing the creepiest gift idea ever! Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Larry Vashon said...

I might snap up some twigs and hang pieces of old bed sheets off of them. I will sell mine 5 bucks cheaper and clean up.

Larry Vashon said...

Dude, you seriously crack me up.

HumorSmith said...

Merry Christmas to you too! And don't even think about sending that"angel"over to the Chronicle. I've got enough trouble with the plush Snuggles bear someone sent me last year. That thing scares the crap out of me.

When Pigs Fly said...

It so nice when those catalogs advertise crap your kid could make for a lot of money. If they're making money on this I may need to get in on the action. I can glue driftwood together.
Have a great holiday!

WINDOWLAD said...

Hola,

I just wanted to wish you a safe and peaceful Christmas...^^

Feliz Navidad!!! Dios nos bendiga a todos!!!^^

~Kelvin

Chunky Knubby Navel said...

That is terrifying. I don't think I can have a merry Christmas OR a happy New Year now. Thanks.

Whitney

That Janie Girl said...

Merry Christmas, sweet lady! (PS, I wouldn't want that driftwood angel either. I thought it was a freakin' voodoo doll or something, Sheesh.)

Happy holidays!

Lil Sis Boombah said...

Every time I see something like this, I get really mad at myself for not figuring out a way to get rich yet. Obviously some people will buy anything. It shouldn't be too hard to start the next fad. Maybe I could fashion earrings out of roadkill bones or something.

Joanie said...

Yeah. that ornament is creepy. Looks like a voodoo doll.

I hope your holidays were wonderful!

Joanna said...

Hope you had a merry Christmas and have a happy new year!

Pastor Sharon said...

Okay, I'm sure that is meant to be something. . . special. However, it freaked me out to. Kinda looks like a cross where some princess in a christening gown was crucified instead.

Glad I found you at Vodkamom's.

Anna See said...

And I thought Chia Pets were scary.

Grand Pooba said...

I'm not even sure what that is! Scary!

LowellSheetsNetworking said...

That was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. Scares me, but I like your style. lol

Rosie said...

What is that!? Does it weep blood?