It's painful to acknowledge, but I guess I have to accept that every school - even our own - has gang problems.
I speak, of course, of the mommy gangs.
From their souped-up, chopped-off strollers that block the school driveway during drop-off and pick-up times to their disturbing practice of intimidating rival gang contestants at the Halloween Carnival Spooky Cake Bake-Off, mommy gangs are becoming an increasingly troubling presence on campuses across the country.
And, as many of you know, with gangs come the chilling symbols of their activities: gang signs. Mommy gangs are no exception.
In an effort to curb this disturbing trend, our beloved school principal Mrs. O'Leisenringenhamburg just sent a memo home to all parents warning us of the presence of these roving bands of outlaw mommies, along with a guide to the specific signs that are in use in our particular neighborhood of Santa Monica.
I include them here as a public service:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1TM27Q2BJvQv3qZZn8NlTSev5s8YuoKkZ8xIBPQ5IYWLVrIGYhHdupjwaxuZ2fd4qCejADmr_rf4rBgCMt3KO0o1AlutBUuVx1crAFNbeOaPC_epQfLo9N36ORZZ_Pm6v7KiUxmB20q7d/s320/gang+-+nanny.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwB4dK6rQGgOUDxIPx16_hTgEC3zTk3p-D0FySiNNVUdljEc2It9aoj3Lied-RfWM3Wc-ieAysPgblXXEksqRU85E5i-_p7ID5Iubeezd1N1r1K5WIKaCb0Kpx25oSvi0ss-5_tDL0FNh4/s320/gang+-+PTA.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Gt7rC7riAG0UMHmU5PuGeFEAeRxhnoZh-Nd4bu_Dd8qmCx0oXOROqmlqJ144oEsxkWFs9jiz5Iw20fuixTXdyf2EDHzz9dniNVjf8oWjiV2KaPfM2wbfBvt-H4-M9GwPwozNzb15WydE/s320/gang+-+hybrid.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb4TgqT6qnsIVPg-dyFvKBbCmG3zs2iJbRcr-fSJPV7YQxoelrhN_MfaXfadQLCMkz-hOkFyVMixPzvWV0VU0YuOpE5-DNITxItN-598vv0XcX8tVFdSliFSYQveNpzZ3N7_HUfoHDrA-S/s320/gang++-+yoga.jpg)
Doesn't anybody work in this town?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhWu6zAGUnke2CzFHJpkXBDPnUfMF_iobGrNvMXXx-dReLxHegerWNr_YD4skna15Yn8V-QnV48yy0f6zon0zYUO6uWvl9HkJJnB3972EHTbFYYaIG2zGKQsynGAjxvtZ3HA8gZA04f5U-/s320/gang+-+bikini+wax.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidtvPfLO08e3AjHzjMn8ojNEvDilUe2wpF1Ks72rnns6PCk_8SajSr8PT3xkUt0-JwWndd8y4K1c4UgqiAJoSysREXW99O8oNdV65XI8Aana6YjU8qmKzrd-Urid-yFh0bqnxu7JUj541Z/s320/gang+-+valet.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBqg5kUWMY8CMM6mHOimjj84wbF1mnfl2oCX9UKYpoQ5fO57-fOX1fOWs2T8Or9n-c0vpVQ8VyBL4sd0RYgUHVXrHwtqnW6Z-ZXE8g961FGb_ZS1CtP-lSCZLaGgP2I0EjEjQPjtq-FiO3/s320/gang+-+houseguests.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRU3fcrwnLmQBt2QMkutrENM-RFgkQdPxA0ki1bFqqKPOWXIAr5Rc56szqMB70tUfILIVOxUMFj9I6N2TTl6XYfRDGfGK6dT7Co1wKyO9Juoh5D8ysShcuJsIayLZcpyjoTuD5Sm1o1Kzg/s320/gang+-+peets.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiik_oStwh3M4DtPpbtyM59qaHOwBGT2jdNjeJhWr5e4Vb__udVNC9w4zpsmHbkslWI1dSHv5L-rZRcTtLp_Xn9WmBmjKoC2E8G_oRA3ukdNkdv75yM94kyqd3C6-_23pCiZqWbOQXOufRL/s320/gang+-+eyes.jpg)
OR
C'mon, she TOTALLY got her eyes done!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxIp0qN_Vved4HcC7l2DTqCjztExi9msUyC6bmx8oTInYY8d8nP5NRstRh3H5M3Yne7ye-Di6odDxsPSRCDDLmmWjhU-9IGR9l7LEgSOSuA5h3-bkzjIddS-yOCBe4lzrP6H7Pgdhj8CxW/s320/gang+-+hair+plugs.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzYNZblqsBZfz2DAPa3Pode9IrqgYOIF89nd5TpFnTDfMqRlkQXKAafsLZDlslUM-LpVcxtzzUwkrleouypak9f25gzHuX08EIUaP-Av9y60Q2_fSalYXS9LLo-wd6y2DJMeNCLMUykNex/s320/gang+-+trophy+wife.jpg)