Monday, July 21, 2008

All Hail TV-B-GONE! (Product Un-Review)

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

You're trying to relax at your favorite nail salon after an exhausting week of a) sheep shearing, b) kelp farming or, c) forwarding emails of heart-rending photo slideshows set to synthesizer that beseech you to take a moment out of your hectic day and consider that you've selfishly burned through every moment of your blessed life so far without a single thought for those around you...and you're just starting to get into the neck massage that you were bullied into buying off on BUT comes some lame-ass news show on the TV that's mounted up in the corner of the salon, cranked up to full volume and squawking about the soaring price of gas and the Middle East crisis and global warming and Lord knows what else and HELLO, CAN'T YOU PEOPLE SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO RELAX HERE?!?!

It can happen anywhere: ITVE. Involuntary TeleVision Exposure. At the airport. In the grocery line. At a restaurant.

Enough, already. If it's not "Mannix," I don't want it forced on me.

And now I don't have to put up with unwanted television buildup because I carry TV-B-GONE.

Seriously, this thing is cool. It's basically a tiny little universal remote that only turns TVs on and off. It'll "talk" to almost every TV in the US (there's also a Euro version) and it works from across the room.

I carry mine in my purse at all times (along with a lot of other things that I'm not going to tell you about) and, let me tell you, I have used it, most recently in the waiting room at the car repair place because I just couldn't take the fake-happy chatter of the morning co-anchors ONE MORE MINUTE. (No, I had not had my morning coffee yet. What's your point?)

But that's only one example of how TV-B-GONE can enhance your lifestyle. Here are a couple more:

Hate men? Park yourself at a sports bar on, say, NCAA finals night. Wait until the critical moment in the game, point your TV-B-GONE at the TV (it pays to be nonchalant here, ladies, and keep what you're doing on the down low)...aim...and...BZRT! TV's off! (If you're not sure how basketball works and hence unable to identify the crucial moment of the game, click here.)

Hate your roommates? Drive them insane wondering why the stupid TV malfunctions every time they sit down with a bag of pork rinds to watch "Petticoat Junction." BZRT!

Hate your smug newlywed friends? Save yourself and others from their insipid wedding video including the bonus footage of their cliched honeymoon cruise to Ensenada. BZRT!

Hate yourself? Allow yourself to get caught doing it.

Note: Team LJKGW's Product Un-Reviews are ALWAYS unpaid and unfettered by any obligation, financial or otherwise. We talk about stuff we like and/or find in our desk drawers around deadline time.


Jessica McFadden said...

THIS is awesome!!!

Anna Lefler said...

I'm tellin' ya - drunk with power! :^)