This Post Is Short, But It Works Out A Lot

Today's post...

...is parked over at LA Moms Blog, where I post a couple times a month on topics related (strangely enough) to motherhood.


This one is an homage to wonderful comedian Jeff Foxworthy's signature "...You Might Be a Redneck" routine, customized for a mom's point of view and titled, "...You Might Be a Mother."

(I'd post it here, too, but that's against LA Moms Blog rules and last time I broke a rule they put me on a timeout and wouldn't let me watch TV for a whole week.)

I hope you'll click over and check it out...and that it gives you a chuckle or two.

Also...

I'm excited to report that I was quoted on Blogtations!


This blog is big fun - kind of like a greatest hits of the blogosphere and a swell place to find funny blogs. Thanks, Blogtations!

New Mommy Post at LA Moms Blog

I have a new post up today at LA Moms Blog.

It's titled "Satan's Chore Chart" and you can check it out here.

What's Up With The Plug?

Just an aside here...my latest post on LA Moms Blog got picked up for national syndication. Everyone here in the LJKGW complex is pretty psyched about it.

(Except for Noreen in Accounts Payable but that's just because she's never gotten over the fact that I said - to someone else - that the Apple Brown Betty she brought in for the last Easter potluck repeated on me. Hey, I'm the victim here, Noreen.)

Anyway, if you'd like to read about what a lousy parent I am, you can do so here.

What's Up With The Runaround?

This morning I have my treadmill stress test.

(For the background on the series of tests being done on my heart, please take a look at my post on LA Moms Blog.)

I'm pumped. This is going to be great.

I'm sure excitement is running high at Cedars-Sinai right now and preparations are in full swing. The technicians are buffing the chrome rails of the treadmill with lambskin cloths. Neon orange cones have been set out to protect my parking space from poachers. Fresh copies of Yacht Management and Highlights have been fanned out on a small table for my enjoyment.

But I have questions.

• Should I bring my own copy of the "Chariots of Fire" soundtrack (which sounds uncannily like this) or will they provide one?


• Will there be a qualified MT (massage therapist) standing by in the event of a calf cramp?


• Will my suite have a whirlpool bath?

In the end, of course, I'm sure all the fretting and preparations will be worth it. And as I dash in slo-mo across that (rotating) finish line, smiling at the cheering doctors and nurses and brushing shimmering confetti from my tear-filled eyes, I will know that this brief journey has brought me one step closer to the ultimate challenge.

Completing the insurance paperwork.

What's Up With The Personal Stylist?

This is a little video that I made with the young 'uns as part of a montage for LA Moms Blog.

Many thanks to my daughter (who shot it), my son (who co-starred in it) and my husband (who often pretends he doesn't know us).