Many of you, loyal readers, have written, emailed and - on two occasions - driven by the
"What have you got against yaks?" asks Ann I. of Wisconsin.
"I think a yak advice column would be quite popular," offers Lisa R.P.R. of Los Angeles.
"You're an ass-clown," writes Jessica B., also of Los Angeles
[Dangit - I meant to save that last one for the Ass-Clown Special Edition I'm putting together for December.]
Anyway... I'd just like to go on record and say:
I like a yak.
And the more I learn about them, the more my appreciation grows.
Let's discuss.
What's So Great About Yaks?
- They are the opposite of gila monsters. Seriously, go check.
- Through a fluke of selective breeding, modern-day yaks are the best spooners in the animal kingdom. No, really. Once you've spooned with a yak, you never go back.
- When a yak laughs (I mean really laughs - not just a chuckle) it sounds exactly like Chewbacca.
- If you accidentally enrage a yak, you can easily calm it by playing anything by Henry Mancini. (Yaks are particularly partial to the "Breakfast at Tiffany's" soundtrack.) **But for God's sakes, don't play any Tony Orlando & Dawn - or Foghat - around them. Not if you value your coffee table, that is.
- A freshly laundered yak will absorb all questionable odors in your condo, kind of like a box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, but, well, huger and SUPER hairy.
Many of you have suggested ways to incorporate yaks into future LJKGW posts. I'm having trouble, however, deciding which suggestion best meshes with this blog's reputation for both hard-hitting investigative journalism and heart-rending human interest coverage.
And so I'm putting it out to you, my discerning and elaborately groomed readers. Which of the following would you most like to see included in upcoming posts?
"On the Horns of Love"
Relationship advice with a uniquely yak perspective.
"Woolly, Woolly World"
Current events and interesting happenings in and around Mongolia.
"Yak It Forward"
Philanthropic column informing readers about ways in which they can make the world a better place (for yaks).
"The Cloven Hoof"
Literary supplement highlighting the best of contemporary yak short fiction.
"Bovid's List"
Online marketplace where yaks and their enthusiasts can sell or trade yak accoutrements.
"Yak Shred"
A unique and thrilling mash-up of yaks and their emerging presence in the world of extreme sports.
"America's Top Yak"
Whose square, wet nose will gleam the brightest in our video competition that cuts across singing, dancing, cooking and - of course - runway skillz?
I look forward to hearing from you...
Speaking of Yaks...
Any post devoted to our wuzzy friends would be incomplete without mention of my favorite big, blue one.
And...
A special shout-out to Morticia's friend Ibby. [hi-five!] Thanks for being a loyal reader and Go, Griffins!
