Wednesday, July 8, 2009

This Just In.

[Insert Static Here.]

We interrupt your regularly scheduled porn surfing programming for this breaking news announcement. We now take you live to the LJKGW world headquarters briefing room in downtown Escondido, where a press conference is already in progress...

Anna Lefler: So I said to him, "Hey, why don't you climb up here on the mechanical bull and pull this finger, pal? Then he whips out this tube sock and...Oh, wait. We're on. [ahem] Yes - question in the back?

Reporter: Is it true that you and five fellow humor bloggers have been placed in the agenda for BlogHer '09 this month in Chicago?

AL: Okay, first of all, they're not fellows...they're women. [rolls eyes] And, second of all, it's not in Chicago *snort* - it's in Maui. Yes - question from the gentleman with the mullet.

Reporter #2: Ah, the conference is actually in Chicago. Not Maui.

AL: Oh, as if. [aside to Tiffany the Intern, hand covering mic] What is this crap? You said it was in Maui! Are you friggin' kidding me? Do you have any idea what it's like to wear a vinyl jumpsuit in July? In Chicago!?!

Tiffany: Um, your mic's still hot. They can hear you.

AL: [to crowd] LOVE Chicago. LOVE. Woman in the back with the poodle perm - question?

Reporter #3: With whom will you be appearing?

AL: I'm glad you asked. I'm proud to be on this comedy-writing panel with five esteemed and hilarious colleagues, including (in alphabetical order) Deb from Deb on the Rocks, Jenny from The Bloggess, Jessica from Bernthis, Kelcey from The Mama Bird Diaries and Wendi Aarons from a humor blog conveniently named "Wendi Aarons." All right - let's not all talk at once. Question from the young lady in front with reinforced-toe stockings.

Reporter #4: Yes, can you tell us more about the panel?

AL: Well, things are still a bit fluid on that front, but I can share with you some items from my notes, which I took on our last conference call. Let's see. [paper rustling] Ah, yes. Here they are:

Notes on BlogHer ’09 Comedy-Writing Panel

Ozzy or Lynyrd Skynyrd - To Discuss

Wendi and Jessica - Synchronized Swimming
Look into inflatable pool rental

Jenny - Satirical Clog-Dancing
Wants Red Bull and yellow M&Ms only in trailer

Anna - Interpretive Dance
Bring “Funky Cold Medina” cassette

Kelcey - Sammy Davis, Jr. Impersonation
Warm up my Sinatra impersonation for snappy banter

Deb - Parody Songs
Bring my piano from home

BIG FINISH!!! “History of Comedy” Musical Revue
Try to trim down to 2 hours
Jazz hands!!!

Reporter #5: Where will the panel be, exactly?

AL: We've secured space in a top-notch conference facility only 50 minutes from the downtown hotel where BlogHer will be held. As you can see from these photos taken by Tiffany the Intern on her advance scouting trip, our panel is being promoted both at the hotel:

AL: ...and at the off-site meeting location:

AL: It also appears that the city and its outlying districts are bracing for an influx of humor enthusiasts:

AL: Other questions? Gentleman wearing the "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt?

Reporter #6: Yes, can you comment on the trout-related rumors swirling around today's announcement?

AL: [ahem] I will not dignify all this trout hubbub with a response, other than to say that any talk of trout is completely baseless.

I will say, however, that I'd like to thank everyone who voted for our panel - we appreciate your support very much! You can find us on the BlogHer agenda here (scroll down to Saturday afternoon). For more info about BlogHer and the conference, click here. Hope to see you there and thank you again!!

CONGRATULATIONS to Alison at That's A Novel Idea - winner of our NOTHING BUT GHOSTS drawing for a $150 gift card! Whoo-ee! Don't spend it all in one place, Alison! (, you know what I mean.) And huge thanks to everyone who posted about Beth's new book!

Cool site alert: Have you checked out Thanks to @DavidSpinks (on Twitter) for telling me about it...


shrink on the couch said...

I am more than slightly tempted to drop in for the synchronized swimming event...

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I'm so sad that I will miss this. I will make sure to bring my Funky Cold Medina on vacation and pretend I'm there (what - you think I'm kidding about owning that? Actually - it may be Wild Thang - but you know, tomato - tomahto)

That Janie Girl said...

And I? for the Hot Dog eating event.

(did I just say that?)

Florinda said...

If this is NOT the best panel at BlogHer, I want my money back! But I think they'll be keeping my money :-).

Congratulations, and I'm putting your session on my agenda right now. See you in Chicago (but wishing it was Maui)!

Swirl Girl said...

I really wish I could meet you in person. You truly are gifted. And I mean that in the best sense of the word...not in the contortionist or ride the short bus kind of way.

Kulio said...


Pseudo said...

I so wish I were going... Hope they tape you WOMEN and post videos.

Formerly known as Frau said...

I can only imagine the 5 of you together. Lots of laughs! Have a great time.

Beth Kephart said...

Oh, Anna. To see you dance.

When Pigs Fly said...

Congratulations on this! Will not be in Chicago but will make sure to be playing Funky Cold Medina in your honor.

Lynn Kellan said...

That sounds like a GREAT panel. Wish I could see it, but I'll be vacationing in Maui.

Kevin McKeever said...

Now I'll know what all that noise coming the west will be at that time of the day. Good luck from the vagina-challenged who won't be in attendance.

Brutalism said...

This will be the highlight of BlogHer -- cannot wait to hear about it.

Susan Blake said...

I live very near Chicago (sadly out of town during the conference) but I dream of it being Maui all the time! :)

Anonymous said...

Would LOVE to see it (as long as that's what you're REALLY doing and it's not code for "walking the Appalachian Trail!) - Will someone be videotaping? Good luck and congratulations!

LTYM said...

How many times do I have to tell you? Jessica and I are not doing the synchronized swimming bit.

We're doing a scene from "Death of Salesman" in rainbow wigs and dirty Hooter's uniforms. Jeez, Anna. Check your notes.


Sherry said...

Congrats to Alison in the contest to support Beth Kephart's new book. What a touching review she wrote, on her blog, of her thoughts about Nothing But Ghosts.

Thanks again, Anna!

Ann Imig said...


I call your jazz hands and raise you a jazz SQUARE.

Anonymous said...

I didn't win the gift card??!!

I mean...have fun in Chicago. My kind of town. Chicago is.

Daaaaaa Bearsss, any chance of a one night stand with Dick Buttkiss?

(that's how it's spelled right?)

Suck on some polish sausage for me!

I could go on all night here.

Anonymous said...


You are such a treat! I love dead-pan. All best to you at the Blogher Awards. (If they do actually exist. With you, I can never really tell.)

I've been revamping my blog, and I was just thinking today, "I haven't seen anything from Anna lately". Then I realized, OH, CRAP! When I renovated my template, I forgot to put your blog roll back up. How stupid!

I nearly melted dead away when I realized that.

Error corrected. Back online, and awaiting your further instructions..

Kelley with Amy's Angels said...

Enjoy it! I'm sad to say that the dates didn't work out for me to attend this year. Which is a bummer because I'm only a short drive to Chicago! : (

Alipet813 said...

Yay me I won! LOL

This is a great site and not just becuase you gave me money.

Wish I was going to Chicago!

Thanks, Sherry for the compliment on my review of NBG.

Everyone have a great weekend!!!

Jeanne Estridge said...

You guys have a great time and don't think about me, sitting home alone in sultry, stinky (seriously, there's a Cargill plant that reeks to the heavens) Riverside, OH....

MommyTime said...

This panel is sure to be the best panel at BlogHer.

And what is UP with that car in your header? I have never seen such a thing. It looks excellently crazy.

CaraBee said...

Yours is the only session that is on my absolutely MUST go to list. Can't wait!

Also, I know every word to Funky Cold Medina, so I totally have your back. You know, if you need it.

mamammelloves said...

You are so funny! :) I'm sure you will have a great time! Thanx for stopping by my blog! Have a great day!

Bunny Boiler said...

BlogHer?? Oh, c'mon - least send on the DVD in a Red Cross parcel to me??

Yours truly,

Deprived of Douglas.

Dawn Parsons Smith said...

You have to post a video of your Funky Cold Medina dance while wearing your vinyl jumpsuit...that alone is worth the price of the BlogHer ticket! (seriously...can't wait to read all about it!)

Geeta said...

Have I told you recently that you're hilarious? No? Well, please, allow me to change that... you're hilarious. :)

Beth said...

They still make stockings with reinforced toes?

Oh, and I wish I were going to Chicago. I do think you should still wear that vinyl jumpsuit. It will help with the interpretive dance.

bernthis said...

Wendi and I were going to synchronize the swimming but I wanted to do it to Hava Nagila and she wanted to do it to, "Who Let the Dogs Out" and so i"m now trying to get Marinka to take her place. At least both of us will know the words.

Organic Meatbag said...

This sounds amazing! I will be outside scalping tickets to this event...oh and by the way, there IS substance to the trout rumors, for one of my appointed nicknames is "The Great Trout"...

AiringMyLaundry said...

I so wish I could go to BlogHer. It sounds like fun. I so want to eat Chicago food.

I'm hoping I can go next year.

HermanTurnip said... found my hotel! :-)

Anonymous said...

Dear Ms. Lefler: Thank you so much for the kind invitation to your workshop at BlogHer 09. While I'm certain your "Taxidermy And Today's Social Media" panel will be most informative, I unfortunately have a prior commitment and will be unable to attend. I wish you the very best in your presentation and look forward to meeting you at a later date. Best wishes, T. Zucker

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Break a leg Girlfriend!

Lizzie said...

that was hilarious :) hope you have a good time!!!

the mama bird diaries said...

My Sammy Davis Jr impression is unstoppable.