Sheep: It's What's For Christmas

A "Wooltide" Giveaway

If you're like me, the words "sheep" and "Christmas" are inextricably linked.

Although sheep have been witness to many important historical events...




...none comes close to this moment in history when - yes - the sheep was once again on the short-list for attendance:


A Giveaway

And so, in the spirit of "yakking it forward," I am very pleased to announce that, in association with Oxfam America and the Oxfam Collection, I am giving away a sheep.

Um, What?

You know, a sheep. About yay high with wistful brown eyes and a really thick sweater?

A Giveaway

Through the Oxfam Collection, one can donate vital livestock and other supplies directly to the people who need it and where it will have the greatest impact with the goal of improving the lives of people living in poverty.

How It Works

Once the contest winner is selected, the sheep will be sent not to that person's houseboat/chateau/de-luxe apartment in the sky...but rather directly to an impoverished village where this little fleecy critter will change lives by allowing locals - especially women - to create their own income as well as provide wool for local textiles.

The contest winner then gets to:

• Officially dedicate their gift to a loved one.
• Bask in the warm holiday fuzzies of having improved the lives of some people in severe need.
• Lord their generous philanthropy over others, which is perhaps the greatest gift of all, yes?
  

How Do I Enter?

Simply leave a comment below that includes some kind of sheep-related pun, the more awful the better! For example:

I know ewe can do it! (See what I did there?)

Comments must be in before noon on Sunday, December 12.

The winner will be chosen by random drawing and announced here on Monday, December 13.

Many Thanks...

To Oxfam America for inviting me to participate in this campaign to help raise awareness of their collection of charitable gifts and for providing my giveaway sheep (whom I have dubbed "Maurice").

If you find yourself at a loss for gift ideas this season, or you're interested in adding a charitable aspect to your gifting, I hope you'll take a moment to visit the Oxfam website. Here you can learn more about this organization's work to eradicate poverty and browse an extensive selection of life-changing charitable gifts.

In the meantime, I think I can speak for Maurice when I say:

Good luck!

Every Picture Tells A Story...

...You Just Might Not Want to Hear It.

I have a Hotmail email account that I use for certain aspects of my life (online betting, fake Craigslist personals, you know - the usual). Not long ago, Hotmail went through a big "upgrade" (I think anyone who's experienced a service upgrade will understand the quotes around that word), resulting in a wider and more luxurious selection of emoticons.

Now, I'm not a big emoticon user (no, I'm not), so I just recently got around to taking a closer look at the new selection now available. I can sum up my findings in two words:

"What the?"

Maybe I don't understand the purpose of these little symbols after all. I mean, I get the smiley faces - even the ones wearing party hats and/or sunglasses. But a sheep?!? Why do we need a sheep emoticon? Do I even want to know the answer to this question?

(My friend Beth says sheep are creative thinkers with their own ideas about landscape design. I don't think this one is a design sheep, though - he's not wearing retro-hip clothes or unusual glasses. I think this is a regular sheep.)

I had to be missing something. Hotmail is part of Microsoft, after all. I mean, if Bill Gates says I need a sheep emoticon, then clearly I need one...I'm just not sure why.

Think, Anna, I told myself. Think.

[Full disclosure: at this point I went and made myself a snack and, no, it was not a healthy one - in fact, its place in the nutrition pyramid was dubious at best.]

And then it came to me. I had been looking at the emoticons from a superficial point of view - that was my mistake. I needed instead to get inside the sheep, to become one with the sheep, to understand the deeper, implied message of the sheep.

Okay, it sounds kind of stupid when I write it out like that, but, believe me, I kind of had a thing there - a moment of spectacular clarity - with the little symbols.

Whatever.

Anyway...allow me to share with you my interpretation of the deeper meaning of some of these petite pictorial punctuators and I bet you'll soon be scattering them throughout your electronic correspondence with gusto.

I know I will.


I feel really bah-ah-ahdly about how things ended the other night. (If you've got a decent JFK impression, now's the time to whip it out.)


It's days like this that make me pine for the attentions of a licensed healthcare provider.


Or a landscaper/fry cook.


Hey! There's a RuPaul special on TV tonight!


I disagree with my psychiatrist. I think there are some real advantages to having multiple personalities.


Can I list my appearance on my friend's nannycam on my acting resume? I mean, I really nailed it.


I am sick to hell of flying coach.


OMG, you are so naive.


Note to self: get Botox.


Don't forget: clog-dancing lesson this Tuesday!


I've also come up with some emoticons that, as far as I know, do not yet exist, but which I think you'll agree definitely should, including:

• jar of Vaseline
• cocktail weenie
• pantyliner (regular for PC, thong for Mac)
• tire track
• Cool Ranch Dorito
• minuteman missile
• banana slug

I think the meanings of these emoticons require no interpretation.

Thank You...

...to Pseudonymous High School Teacher for linking to my Mad Libs Christmas letter!

...to Lizzie at Infectious Chatter for the cool Proximidade Award!

...and to Pooba for this: